Sunday, June 20, 2010

Men versus women !

Many times I have heard of 'India versus England', Kangaroo versus kiwi' and so on but to my utter surprise, topic of "men versus women" is on top in our society.

Can anyone explain me how the two human species are different from each other?. If we talk of anatomy of the two, indeed we are different but otherwise we are equal and each others' strength.

It is a futile effort to prove our gender superior or equal. Equality or anything else lies in our head only. The day we will start respecting each others' wishes, dreams, desires, virtues, caliber and personal space, everything can be set right.

Quite often I wonder which one is bigger or more significant-

My Mother or my Father?
My sister or my brother?
My daughter or my son?
My friend Sanjay or my friend Sarika?
My husband or myself?
Male bloggers or the female ones?
Dr. Manmohan Singh is more capable or our president Pratibha Patil?
Kalpana Chawla or Rakesh Sharma?
Dr Divya or Dr Hiten?


I tried hard but failed to see anyone lesser than the other one by an iota even.


Why these comparisons always? Can't we accept each other in totality with their natural attributes and capacities. Cannot we live peacefully together? After all we are sharing the same planet earth. Why do we need to prove that we are from different planets Mars and Venus, every time.

" Unity is strength ". Hope we all are aware of this. Why can't we believe in this simple proverb. A wife and husband together constitutes a beautiful relationship. All the relationships are just offshoots. When we look at our parents, we always feel proud of them and see them as our role models. Can't we be like them?.

If a father takes lot of pains to give the best education and wishes best for his daughter, then the same should be carried forward by a husband as well for the same girl who is his wife now. Likewise a girl who always adored her mother and respected her for being so loving with her father must give all the respect and love to her husband .

It is quite natural that a well qualified man looks for an equally qualified woman as his spouse. So he must prepare his mind that he must adapt himself with the trivial troubles arising in looking after the kids and household chores if she is also working. Share every responsibility together.

Nine months of gestation is assigned to women, but a man must wait eagerly to look after the baby for the next nine months and share the responsibility equally. Is it
a big deal guys?. Men and women can easily contribute in each others domain. Just a little will is required.

Women must boycott reservations in all spheres. They should not be lured by such mirages. Reservations are outright insults of women folk. If we have to move ahead, we ought to prove our worth by our actions .

" A woman who rocks the cradle can rule the world also ". It is proven now.

Time is changing , so are the people. Let us welcome the changes with a positive mindset. We cannot achieve anything by being bitter with the other half.

Respect each others personal space and give importance to small-small desires your spouse has.

Being a woman, my appeal to all the wonderful men is to extend your support to your wives in fulfilling their dreams. Make their dreams come true.

She expects silently...

Lovingly quoting my husband's signature here-- " Together we can "

224 comments:

1 – 200 of 224   Newer›   Newest»
ashish said...

"Togather we can " I belive in it. well written post.
Being a woman, my appeal to all the wonderful men is to extend your support to your wives in fulfilling their dreams. Make their dreams come true.

wats your appeal for guy who dont have wife ??

ha ha just kidding.

डॉ टी एस दराल said...

Together we can . Very true .

मिथिलेश श्रीवास्तव said...

of course 'together we can' is a universal true, but tell me one thing how did this question arise in yr mind ? r u been hurt by someone ? or it's as usual topic to write ?

Divya said...

Ashish ji,

Those who are single have bigger responsibility. They must help their fellow men and women to achieve their goal.

Divya said...

Mithilesh ji,

Every second person is hurt by someone or the other. I do get hurt at times. But this doesn't mean i should start complaining or start looking for emotion support. There are lions in sheep's skin to extend emotional support. They do so for some motive of their own.

What i wrote is just an appeal to look and think differently. Most of us are biased and do not even bother to think out of box.

Love will be enhanced and relationships can be sweeter , if think more about others' , instead of thinking about ourselves.

Divya said...

By divine grace i have received love in abundance so it's my duty to extend the same without complaining.

'उदय' said...

“स्त्री-पुरुष एक-दूसरे के पूरक हैं आपस में कोई छोटा-बडा नही है किसी एक के बिना समाज की कल्पना निरर्थक है।”

Divya said...

Udar ji,

aapki baat se sehmat hun, lekin aapko kaisa lagta hai jab aap logon ko ek dusre par dosharopan karte hue paate hain tab?

Divya said...

Uday ji ** [correction]

sorry for typing the incorrect spelling in your name. Please pardon the typo.

Vivek Jain said...

really logical and nice article

vivj2000.blogspot.com

Swapnil Bhartiya said...

It has been millions of years since man and woman have been living together 'peacefully'. In western/advanced societies this debate is non-existent.

It might be of some, or may be of foremost, importance in older civilizations where a class of society tries to control the rest -- they try to dictate the rest.

That's where these discussions are found. What else do we expect from a country of dowry, 'parda pratha'? Here in Europe, or whenever I travel to the USA...the issues are different -- they are contemporary.

India is facing far bigger issues than man vs female. There is no vs...these are not the competing 'genders'. It's nothing but power politics.

Divya said...

Swapnil ji,

You are fortunate that you never came across such issues going on in every second family. About west i know nothing , nor i am interested in knowing but in our society this issue is becoming chronic. It cannot be left attended. If there is peace in west, then we all cannot go and live in west, nor we can follow western culture.

Marriage is considered a very pious institution in our country, which is meaningless in west. So we cannot talk about west in the issues which are more common and troublesome in India.

The inequality and the circumstances in which women [general lot] is living is one big cause for the break ups, dissatisfaction and quarrels in the family.

You didn't clarify the class in which you feel this issue is more prevalent.Kindly make it more precise.

In my humble opinion , it is common in lower socioeconomic class and elite class as well. The mode and ways and finer aspects could be different.

As you rightly stated that India is facing far more bigger issues than this. But then, one cannot cover all issues in just one post. We will sort out everything gradually.

Only a happy man and woman can keep the family happy. So before attending the bigger issues, we genuinely need to have happy and healthy units [families]. And for achieving this goal, this issue has to be resolved first.

Divya said...

It cannot be left unattended ** [correction]

Swapnil Bhartiya said...

Divya,

(please drop ji :-). I quite understand your point. I lived in India till 2008, so I am neither unaware of the problem nor ignore it. What I was trying to say was this debate of Man Vs Woman is insignificant. I love my wife very much and there is no 'ego' there. We complement each other. That is true with every commited couple whether be in west or east. Marriage is not meaningless in the west. It is a pious as it is in India. We have to shed the cliche of looking down at others. In the west wife choose to separate from an abusive husband...whereas in India...she continues to succumb and sacrifice...not due to will, but due to social pressure.

Indian woman let go of their desire and dreams and husband become the 'leader' of the pack. While poor wife sits at home cooking food...the 'pack hunter' blogs day and night. Will they give same rights to their wives? They accept...oh we do need change of 'taste'...will they let their wives have a change of 'taste'? No. Then they will bring in the culture and stuff...they dictate what woman should wear and do...these are the kind of people who start such debates about man vs woman as they try to inforce thier opinion about woman...which essentially looks down at woman.

When you said we cann't follow western curture, I was happy to hear that, but I don't see that happening. On the contrary, we imitate the west. We have no respect for our languages. We speak and write English. We can't follow the west, we are 'copy-pasting' it.

I come from a family of 4 sisters -- it was a combined family...all sisters are teacher...one PhD...there was democracy in my family...so I am not ignorant...but these issues were never discussed...no rights were begged or asked for...rights were there...

My point we need to identofy the so-called intellectuals who try to ignite such debates to create TRP blogs...they are pseudos...there are bigger problems that India is facing...sex-ratio...health or woman...mortality rate...education...human rights...and much more...I don't think we should have time for a man vs woman debate...we should instead protest those who try to generalize...

what do you say?

बेचैन आत्मा said...

सहमत.

Smart Indian - स्मार्ट इंडियन said...

कुछ लोग समानता ढूंढते हैं और कुछ अंतर.
कुछ के अंतर मैं एवम अन्य से शुरू होते हैं कुछ के मेरा (धर्म, देश, लिंग, वाद, जाति, ...) एवम पराया से.

Sanjeet Tripathi said...

mai aaya, dekha, english me hai, samajh nahi paaya, isliye bas jaa raha hu bina kuchh kahe... muaafi......

डा० अमर कुमार said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
वाणी गीत said...

स्त्री और पुरुष में अंतर को एक इंसान से दूसरे इंसान के बीच अंतर की तरह ही लिया जाना चाहिए ...

Nice Post..

ethereal_infinia said...

Part 1 of 2


Dearest ZEAL:

It is very nicely written.

I am a staunch believer in the mightiness of the females as they do a lot more than a male does.

Take the simplest example of a lady who is working. When she arrives home from office, she will not only cook for the family, tend to household chores, sit with the kids to see what was done in school today, look after the in-laws, and many a things more are all she will do simply as a part of her unwavering commitment to the entire family.

A working man who comes in from office would snap if the dinner is served 10 minutes later than the usual time. Zmiles.

The woman who has equally worked as hard as the man in office all through the day has no such tantrums to throw.

Even the woman who is a home-maker, does so many tasks which we married guys realise to our horror only when she is away to visit her parents. Zmiles.

That day the morning begins differently. The tea-cup doesn’t arrive ‘automatically’ with a zmile. The towel somehow chooses not to be on the rack ‘automatically.’ The clothes also shy away from being laid out neatly, and of course, ;automatically’. Nor the socks, neither the handkerchief care to be ready to be taken ‘automatically’ from their usual place. The Diyaa for the Poojaa is not there in the Mandir ‘automatically’. There is a mad hunt for that matching tie which used to be on the bed ready to be worn on any given day which also hides away from being ‘automatically’ available. The water in the pot is not changed and nor filled ‘automatically’. The lunch-box is not packed and ready by the time to leave ‘automatically’.

And know this - it is just the morning that so unfolds in the absence of that most special species called woman.

ethereal_infinia said...

Part 2 of 2

Lest one take me for a lazy person, let me say, this is not about having small-small things done by her. Into all of these acts and many more, there goes the emotional commitment, the underlining of the bond of togetherness and it needs to be acknowledged.

The tasks I just mentioned in the example may be menial in the eyes of some, but I value and respect the love of the woman that goes into all of this.

Nothing is automatic. Nothing is ‘by default’. Everything is simply magical. The lady of the home is the magician who gets up before anyone and goes to sleep after everyone. Everything is there because she works tirelessly to make sure there is nothing amiss.

Our parents are surely our role-models. When they are stellar in their own right, we as well wish ourselves as wife and husband to be as good, if not better, then them.

Our societal order, right from the times of Manu, has been masochist and thus the enterprising spirit of woman is always tried to be stymied or stifled under whatever guise was convenient.

A very-well educated lady has to, at times, suffer needlessly as she realises that her husband married her for her big degree and she is no more than a trophy wife, a status symbol. It is a grim reality in some homes.

However, on the brighter side, there are many who proudly look up to the achievements of their wives and these couples truly form a powerful bond.

How many husbands take cognizance of the fact of the zillion selfless sacrifices the wife makes because she wants to make sure he has his way in life. Careers are forsaken, ambitions given up, expectations left unsaid, tears hidden, sighs suppressed.

The woman has a life and yet does the husband give her a chance to say – It’s my life?

We can have ideological debates on this ground but fact remains – Women are superior in the way they conduct themselves.

Zaraa tu soch ke wo shaqs kis qadar thaa buland
Jo bichh gayaa tere qadmo mein aasmaan ki taraah


Arth kaa
Natmastak charansparsh

Divya said...

Swapnil ji,

First thing first-
I cannot drop the two letter salutation 'ji'. It is to extend equal respect to one and all , irrespective of age and gender. Also it keeps the relation formal and leaves a breathing space between the two. Above all it is my choice.

Now coming to the point. I am glad to know you and your wife have cordial relations and all your sisters are working. Question is not about a handful of woman who are already working. It is about the remaining lot those who have sacrificed or compromised with their career.

As you have rightly stated , they do not do it willingly but the social pressure and preachings to look after the family, forces them to opt for this.

Divya said...

Swapnil ji,

You said we are following west by talking and writing in English. I do not agree with this. Writing in Hindi or in our native language doesn't show patriotism by any means.

Let us talk about 'Thackeray s'. Do you think by blabbering in 'Marathi' are they contributing anything in the progress of our nation?

Any those who are writing in English are all traitors?

English is just a language. It is not anyone's 'bapauti'.

Westerners are following us. following our culture. Copying our traditions. Learning yoga and Ayurveda.

Even they they are following our marriage concept now.

Writing or expressing our views in a particular language doesn't mean we are copying west or forgetting our culture. Kindly get the facts straight.

English is easy to type on keyboard is the only reason for me to opt.

The content of an issue doesn't change with the language used to express.

I appeal to all those who find it easy to write in Hindi, must answer in Hindi, here.

Apart from Hindi and English All native languages are welcome. I can understand all languages.

Hindi is a beautiful language and those who are not biased , are reading me in English and beautifully answering me in their own choice of language.

Don't take English as taboo.

Language is just a medium of expression. No more significance.

Divya said...

Swapnil ji.

Do not talk of TRP of blogs . Its damn funny .

Dhanyawaad

Divya said...

Anurag [Smart Indian]ji,

I agree with you. Some start with 'main', 'religion', 'nationality' and other stuff. But what is the solution? Kindly mention few , if you have any.

shyam1950 said...

प्रिय दिव्या आपका ब्लाग देख कर चित प्रसन्न हो गया .. आज ही श्रीश जी की मेल थी सो चला आया अभी पूरा पढ़ने पर आपके साथ विचार सांझे करूँगा

Divya said...

Dr. Amar,

It is true that much has been said than done. But do not deprive us from your valuable opinion. Do let us know what can be done and how?

How to Change the beliefs. How to Keep everyone happy. As these issues are one big reason leading to mental health also.

Your words can definitely help the people in general.

"Bindi-bindu se Sindhu bana hai...."

Two cents from everyone can certainly solve the issue.

Divya said...

Vani ji,

@-स्त्री और पुरुष में अंतर को एक इंसान से दूसरे इंसान के बीच अंतर की तरह ही लिया जाना चाहिए ...

I fully agree with you. But the question is. "are women happy?".

Indeed a husband provides all material comforts and luxury. But is that all?. Doesn't a woman grows with a number of dreams in her eyes, till she realizes what her destiny is.

To abort a woman when she is just a fetus [bhroon], or to kill a woman when she is newly born [foeticide] or to kill a woman's dream when she is married.

What is the solution Vani ji?. What changes can be made in society, culture , upbringing and in our thinking?

Kindly enlighten us.

Divya said...

Arth ji,

Thanks for the wonderful comment. You beautifully defined the status of a woman in society. I wish that all must understand things in this clear light [including men and women both].

Unfortunately we will see many males talking in favor of women but do they actually mean it?. Do they genuinely apply this beautiful mirage of words in their own family? Are they considerate with their wives? Did they ever bother about their own wife?.

Is looking after a child and house is a small work?. If it is not an easy task , still they are doing it wonderfully, then why not they are given a chance to do something different. Why can't they do something , for which they have done 'Tapasya'.

When parents give equal opportunities to their son and daughter, why the society dictates something contrary to this.

Why the culture is being imposed on women only?

By sacrificing and compromising with career, are they following culture and tradition?

Those who are working are not looking after the family properly?

Why the bias?

We trust our mothers. We have full confidence in our daughter's intellect. Then why can't the society trust in power of women? Why not we ask the whole women lot to come ahead and join hands with them.

Divya said...

Sanjeet ji,

aapke upar itna gussa aaya ki Pyaar aa gaya...Kabhi aapke ghar aayeinge to hindi mein aapki pitayee kareinge aur aapko bata denge ki aapki Hindi se kai guna achhi meri Hindi hai...

Hindi meri Matra bhasha aur Rashtra bhasha hai. Mein Hindi se Pyar karti hun, aur samman karti hun...

I am a Desi girl Divya.

Smiles !

Divya said...

Shyam ji,

Your comment here came as a pleasant surprise to me. Aap se wapas milkar bahut achha laga. Ab kabhi duur mat jaiyega.

aapke bahumulya vichaar humari samasyaon ka nidaan awashya kar sakenge.

aapke ashirwaad ki aakanshi,
aapki Divya

MangoManBunty said...

There ARE differences. I believe the XX is way more strong in character and mental fortitude. At the same time, they are the most sensitive about their gender! It was wonderful to read a female blogger NOT rooting for women reservation for a change!

Hail!

आचार्य जी said...

भावपूर्ण अभिव्यक्ति।

Divya said...

Bunty ji,

Change is the only thing which is constant ! That is what we are looking for . Tired of same old concepts. Exchange of duties for a change?..what say?

Thanks for pointing out a very valid difference.

Divya said...

Acharya ji,

Thanks for taking us to bramhaand.

Gourav Agrawal said...

Kavita Chawla or Rakesh Sharma :)

or

Kalpna Chawla or Rakesh Sharma :)

Gourav Agrawal said...

मेरी ये टिपण्णी मैंने एक लेख पर दी थी शायद आपकी चर्चा में काम आ जाये ......

मैं ये मानता हूँ की हमें विभाजन की आदत हो गयी है , ये हमारे संस्कारों में शामिल हो गया है
अगर एक मानव दूसरे मानव को (स्त्री या पुरुष तो फिर से विभाजन हो जायेगा ना) सही सम्मान दे और उसके हितों को नुकसान न पहुंचाए तो सब ठीक हो जायेगा बस काफी है

मैं तो कल भी सब को सम्मान देने की बात करता था आज भी करता हूँ और करता रहूँगा , क्योंकि मानव की मूलभूत आवश्यकताओं की पूर्ती के बाद आत्मसम्मान का ही नंबर आता है .. है ना ??

Divya said...

@-क्योंकि मानव की मूलभूत आवश्यकताओं की पूर्ती के बाद आत्मसम्मान का ही नंबर आता है ..

Gaurav ji,

You raised a very valid point.Everyone wants to live with self respect and dignity.

Then why the division of labor? If we observe carefully, disparity [bhed-bhaav] can be seen in the duties assigned to men and women.

If we go back to our sacred texts , there also a woman is supposed to look after house and family. In olden times , men and women used to work together in fields. There was less discrimination and the work done was more on a physical front by both of them, so they never felt much difference in the dignity associated with the work.

But on the contrary, in modern days, a middle class woman is still supposed to do the house hold strenuous job and the intellectual jobs are considered to be a man's domain. This hurts a woman's pride who is equally qualified and capable.

With changing time, we ought to change our social structure and beliefs. Many olden concepts need review and research.

Divya said...

Gaurav ji,

Correction [Kalpana] has been made..thanks.

ethereal_infinia said...

Part 1 of 2

Dearest ZEAL:

The beautiful ‘mirage’ of words that was my comment.

I believe in mirages.

Mirage is a gift of awesome power in the desert. It gives the forlorn traveller a belief that water is nigh, a hope that an oasis is at hand, a desire to find footprints of the caravan that has not yet gone too far.

To answer the questions raised by you, I feel quite a many families apply the words to some or the other level. The degree of application can be debated, since there is an allowance of justification to be provided thereto.

The justification, in itself, is the consideration in the eyes of the person. A more holistic concern is oft taken umbrage under when the curtailed freedom of the wife is spoken of in some cases.

A woman does many a things which are so very important and as you rightly said if they wish to take this skill-set out into the professional world equipped with their qualifications which were achieved after strenuous ‘tapasya’, they face a big challenge of acceptance.

Well, all parents will maintain equality between their off-springs regardless of gender. It is but natural a thing to do. So would you and so shall I. Society has no role in that if the thought is sincere. Else it is an eyewash which would be bared sooner rather than later.

Culture is not being imposed on women by the society. It is the way life has been over the ages and the basic reaction to change is resistance. In earlier times, roles of men as well as women were defined as per the needs and conveniences prevalent.

People are basically wary of walking a path unknown. The husband has seen in his family that the womenfolk were home-bound and have accepted it as the right way. The wife has seen in her family, that the ladies were to be confined within the close enclaves of the home. Collectively, both agree to the situation and hence yet another generation lends substantiation to the way of life as it has been. The ‘norm’ is set thus by practice.

Things, however, take a different hue when the deviation from this ‘norm’ happens. The ‘set order’ of things is altered and it brings into play the dynamics of ambition. Also, all societal ‘norms’ are subject to the normal wear, tear and repair of times that they were enacted in and the times that is upon us presently.

ethereal_infinia said...

Part 2 of 2


Ambition alone is not the cause of change. It has as its allies Opportunities that are now open for all and Needs that are day-by-day turning luxuries into basic amenities. The wish to avail these and offer a better life-style to gen-next makes it easily acceptable these days for a husband to have a wife who is working. In fact, nowadays a prospective bride who is employed is more welcome that the one who is at home.

Thus, progress has paved way for a change in the societal outlook, easing the curbs and welcoming women into the mainstream occupations.

In any society, ‘norms’ are the boundaries. There will always be a guardian of old customs and there will always be the clarion call for a change. The conflict is eternal. Only its paradigms are shifting. The boundaries keep getting redefined.

Earlier, even for a guy to go far from the native land to work was taboo. Today, it is a normal thing. No eyebrows raised, no tongues wagged. Earlier the girl students to go beyond primary education was ‘sensational’. Today, excelling in toughest exams by them is seen as a routine thing.

Times are a-changing. Pace of societal evolution may be slow, but it is there. History has proof that whenever civilisations came up – there was the early explorer, the initial settler, the leading colonist, and the eventual town-dweller.

It is for each family to decide what it wants to be?

The early explorer who chose a path untrodden and walked into the wilderness to discover a new world

The initial settler who braved the harshness of the alien turf and setting up a home away from home

The leading colonist who took bold steps to define, assemble and organise the settlement into an orderly form

The town-dweller, who when all was set and done, just came by to live there.

Eventually, societal progression mandates all to come. But those who resist the change the most are the late-comers and mere town-dwellers. Those who dared, did the thing long before the masses came. They are the true leaders.

So with families who have allowed the female progeny to bloom and prosper career-wise are surely the leaders and have reaped rich dividends of their prudence.

Those who chose not to do so, eventually had to agree that a woman must be granted freedom but the initiative has been seized by someone already.

The ‘mirage’ of words pays tribute to the explorers, settlers and colonists, dearest ZEAL.


Arth kaa
Natmastak Charan-sparsh

डा० अमर कुमार said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gourav Agrawal said...

मुझे लगता है की हमारी गलती ये है की हम हमारी संतुष्ट प्रसन्न रखने वाली जीवन शैली छोड़ कर एक दूसरी जीवन शैली अपना रहे हैं जहां कार्यों का बटवारा ठीक तरह से नहीं हुआ है . हमारे यहाँ स्त्री संस्कारों की वाहक है क्योंकि वो स्नेह से बच्चों में कब संस्कार भर देती है पता भी नहीं लगता (अब मैं टी वी के धारावाहिक देख कर पूरा दिन बिता देने वाली घरेलु महिला की बात नहीं कर रहा हूँ ) स्त्रीसबसे रचनात्मक मस्तिष्क की स्वामिनी होती है वह किसी तरह का लघु उद्योग चला सकती है ( लघु उद्योग से मेरा मतलब एक भारतीय बिजनेस जिसमें बड़ा ऑफिस + ऐ सी के अलावा सबकुछ है , माल एक्सपोर्ट भी होता है पर बिजनेस घर में या घर के आस पास चलता है ) इससे स्त्री का आत्मसम्मान , परिवार की आय में योगदान, बच्चों की देखरेख , बच्चों को व्यवसाय का प्रक्टिकल ज्ञान आसानी मिल सकता है (मतलब अगर कोई बच्चा अगर पढाई लिखाई में न चले तो .....) , मैं स्त्री को संस्कारों का वाहक इसलिए भी कह रहा हूँ क्योंकि उसकी ममता के आगे सारे लोजिक फेल हो जाते है , ऐसा क्यों होता है की पहली बार माँ शब्द सुनते ही उसके सारे दुःख मिट जाते है , पुरुष से अपने आप ही बच्चे अनुशासित रहते हैं( अपेक्षाकृत अधिक ) इसीलिए उसे भौतिक विज्ञान का वाहक मानता हूँ ( मतलब इन्जिनीरिंग, चिकित्सा विज्ञान आदि )

अब परेशानी ये है की स्त्री को भी पुरुष ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है पर एक बार उन देशों के हाल भी देख लेने चाहिए जहां ये हो रहा है , वहां से सिर्फ एक चीज सीखी जा रही है पैसा कमाना , उसके बाद और पैसा कमाना, उसके बाद और पैसा कमाना अगली स्टेप फिर से यही है


एक बात और...... हो सकता है की मेरी सोच कुछ नेरो माइंडेड टाइप की लगे पर ये भी देखिये ये सिर्फ सोच का एक एंगल है और इसमें कोई भी दुखी नहीं है, १०० प्रतिशत रोजगार , पूरा आत्मसम्मान, सही देख रेख , समुचित शिक्षा , विकसित समाज

और लोगों से ये विचार शेयर करते हुए घबराता हूँ की वो मुझे स्त्री विरोधी न समझ लें पर आपसे डर नहीं लगता क्योंकि आप मेरी सोच से सहमत न भी हो तो उसे सुधारने के लिए कोई नया विचार अवश्य देंगी जो मुझे अवश्य समझ में आ जाएगा ( पुरुष अपनी पूरी जिंदगी सीखता है .. वो सिर्फ एक विद्यार्थी है, और अक्सर स्त्री ही सच्ची शिक्षक होती है , कभी माँ के रूप में कभी बहन के रूप में कभी पत्नी के रूप में कभी बेटी के रूप में )

प्रवीण पाण्डेय said...

आपसे पूर्णतया सहमत । तुलनात्मक प्रवृत्तियाँ तब होती हैं जब संसाधन सीमित होते हैं और मानसिकता संकुचित । हम हैं, मैं नहीं ।
सामयिक व विचारोन्मुख लेख ।

abhi said...

प्रशान्त के ब्लॉग से आपके ब्लॉग पे आना हुआ मेरा और क्या क्या बात...बहुत अच्छा लिखी हैं आप..
आपसे बिलकुल सहमत हैं जी हम
हमें इसी तरह के पोस्ट ज्यादा पसंद हैं :)

Divya said...

@-In any society, ‘norms’ are the boundaries. There will always be a guardian of old customs and there will always be the clarion call for a change. The conflict is eternal. Only its paradigms are shifting. The boundaries keep getting redefined.

Arth ji,

Many thanks for your valuable views but what is the solution?. In your opinion how we can change concepts and beliefs and how we can implement the changes required to bring equality in society?

What is the best way to achieve so without offending the other gender?

Divya said...

Dr. Amar,

Glad to know you got something to ponder on.

Regarding 'meager substance', i am trying my level best and i hope i will grow with time. The inadequacy of substance in my posts will be attended thus.

"Atithi Devo bhav "

aane ka aabhaar !

Divya said...

@-अब परेशानी ये है की स्त्री को भी पुरुष ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है ...

Gaurav ji,

ye baat kuchh hazam nahi hui, kripya khulasa kijiye.

Divya said...

और लोगों से ये विचार शेयर करते हुए घबराता हूँ की वो मुझे स्त्री विरोधी न समझ लें पर आपसे डर नहीं लगता क्योंकि आप मेरी सोच से सहमत न भी हो तो उसे सुधारने के लिए कोई नया विचार अवश्य देंगी...

aap pehle vyakti hain jisne kaha.." आपसे डर नहीं लगता ". Iss zarranawazi ka shukriya.

Thanks for saying this. Otherwise majority of my male acquaintances made me feel as if i am quite 'khaufnaak' and 'panic-inducer'

Although my female friends say-"Divya you are sweet and beautiful "...[blushes and winks ]

Divya said...

@-पुरुष अपनी पूरी जिंदगी सीखता है .. वो सिर्फ एक विद्यार्थी है, और अक्सर स्त्री ही सच्ची शिक्षक होती है , कभी माँ के रूप में कभी बहन के रूप में कभी पत्नी के रूप में कभी बेटी के रूप में ..

I agree !

But women also learn. They are eternal learners.

We all are life-long students, irrespective of gender.

It is wise to keep all the windows open and let the fresh breeze reach our brains.

Divya said...

@-सोच का एक एंगल है और इसमें कोई भी दुखी नहीं है, १०० प्रतिशत रोजगार , पूरा आत्मसम्मान, सही देख रेख , समुचित शिक्षा , विकसित समाज..

How can a woman be happy , when she is qualified for something else, but forced to be happy with small scale business at home ? This can bring money but not self satisfaction. This is known as half-employment, when the person is not satisfied with his/her job.

A woman can console herself by opting for such options and this is already happening. But what about the degree she has earned?. Let it rot in a folder? What about the parents who took great pains to raise her daughter with the best of education possible? Did they take all the pains for her to settle down as a wonderful homemaker only ?....or something lesser than her actual qualification?

Divya said...

Do we need higher education to become a good wife, mom or citizen?

My grand-mom was uneducated, yet she raised all her children wonderfully. They are well settled.

What is the need to educate a girl child? Why to waste our hard earned money if she can manage the house with great expertise without the basic education even?

After all a man is there to earn livelihood and attend the issues which requires brain in each family.

Educated women are 'pain in the neck'.

They are aware. They are raising voices. They are making the men lot feel unsecured.The awareness among women folk is causing discomfort in a cool set up of traditional system.

Are they ready to accept the discomforts for the sake of mother/wife/sister?

A little discomfort can bring many smiles.

Divya said...

@-तुलनात्मक प्रवृत्तियाँ तब होती हैं जब संसाधन सीमित होते हैं और मानसिकता संकुचित ।

Praveen ji, sahi kaha aapne.

lekin agar mil baant kar rahein to kisi ke mann mein kamtari ka ehsaas nahi hoga.Dono khush reh sakenge.

@ Abhi-

I am glad you liked the post. Thanks.

RAJAN said...

Are teri ke divya {ji} aap to bilkul aam mahilaon jaisi nikli. hahahaha majak kar raha hu bhai.apke comments to kai baar padhe hai.ab apka thikana bhi dekh liya hai.ab to aana jana laga hi rahega.is behatreen article ke liye shukriya.

rashmi ravija said...

A thought provoking article..wt did u say is hundred percent correct but do u think it is easy to follow??
every human being or any other creature just want to control or dominate others...One wants to dominate and Other tries to resist and problem just starts from there...dnt think its going to change in near future..

And Zeal ,the way u use to reply to comments u can write 10 posts :)

seems u r yet to read my story on Man ka pakhi...hv tried something completely different this time..hv a look.. and gv ur honest feedback :)

Divya said...

Rajan ji,

You are very right in judging me. I am indeed like any other woman on earth.

I do not have tentacles on my head, nor i have a horn on my snout.

And also i do not bite..< winks >

Thanks for visiting here.

Divya said...

.
Rashmi ji,

You are right ! It's not easy to motivate people for the positive change in the society so soon. But we cannot give up trying. Patience is our hallmark. It pays !

" Slow but steady wins the race"

Some day the rabbits will realize and appreciate the caliber of turtles.

"Ek sundar diwase"...One fine day !

Let's wait for the best...we already have conquered half the battle.

RAJAN said...

divya ji, pata hi nahi chal raha hai ki aapne mere cmnt. ko kis tarah liya.main apko hurt nahi karna chahta tha.balki mujhe khushi hai ki aap purush ke bajaay uski maansikta ki hi virodhi hai.aur sabse badi baat future ke prati ashawaan hai. but if u still think that i was wrong,then tell me.i will remove my p revious cmnt. from here. j

RAJAN said...

i will have to type in english because u seem to be uncomfortable with hindi written in roman script.

Indrani said...

Hi Divya, I admire your writing skills. Great post.
First time here and quite surprised to see the debate... let it be a healthy one. :)

Divya said...

Dear Rajan,

I am not at all hurt by you. Those who are too touchy and sensitive, they achieve nothing in this world. So do not worry. 'Hurt' is a word , which doesn't exist in my dictionary.

I liked the way you addressed me. A little 'chuhulbaji' is welcome. I thought you will gather the hidden sense of humor in my reply to you.

Now saying in simple words, you are very cute and sweet and very welcome on my blog.

I love to be among 'khushmizaz people'. It increases my haemoglobin level.

With lots of 'Jadu ki jhappi'...

Regards,

Divya said...

Indrani ji,

Thanks and welcome here.

Kindly add your valuable two cents in the debate.

डा० अमर कुमार said...


@ Divya Zeal
Ref: meagre substance..
I feel that the real perspect of this Label has drifted away to an unintended feminine reference..
Yes, It carried some sarcasm.. not for a gender, but for the whole scenerio in toto.
Such debates are continuing since the time of Raja Ram Mohan Roy, but a common harsh reality prevails from pavement to the parliament.. We become intolerent to women when it comes to giving liberty of taking her own decisions.
I daresay that 90% of my male counterparts in this comment area shall feel uncomfortable in allowing their spouse / daughter / sister to go ahead with her decisions.
Such type of much ado for the sake of appearing progressive, is a bitter hype of 'intelligensia'
Here comes the 'meagre substance..' lying within them.
For example.. I have granted my daughter to take decisions of life on her own.. Its true that people think me to be a Creature of third kind in their clan !

Divya said...

@- Dr. Amar,

As far as i know you by reading your comments on different blogs, i feel that you truly believe in gender equality and giving equal opportunities to men and women both.

In your last comment when i saw you pondering over.." Do they really mean it...". I was sure about my belief that you must be respecting a person's freedom , irrespective of gender.

I am glad to know that you trust your daughter's decisions. You have given her a chance to grow on her own. At least somewhere , some people like you are taking the initiative to extend opportunities to our sisters and daughters.

I want more people to come forward and follow your thinking. A positive Change is very likely and just a thought away. All we need is to tune our mind selflessly.

Divya said...

Who are women?

They are not our rivals.

They are our :-

Mother
Sister
Wife
Daughter
and
Friend

They are a part of us.

If they are sad somewhere, how can you be happy?

RAJAN said...

thanks divya ji.i have never got such a warm response by any blogger.keep writing.

Gourav Agrawal said...

@-अब परेशानी ये है की स्त्री को भी पुरुष ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है ...

हाँ ये लाइन कुछ अधूरी सी लगती है ये कुछ ऐसा होना चाहिए

"आज कल स्त्री को भी "स्वतंत्र पुरुष" ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है ."
मैं स्वतंत्रता के नाम पर हो रही दिशाहीन दौड़ की बात ही कर रहा हूँ जहां स्त्री पुरुष को बिलकुल समान ही माना जाता है जबकि प्रकृति ने कार्यों का बटवारा शारीरिक संरचना के अनुरूप ही कर दिया था , मादा शरीर से ही दूध उत्तपन होता है, बच्चा उम्र भर दर्द होने पर माँ को ही याद करता है पहले ....... क्यों??? आखिर पिता को भी तो याद कर सकता है ... कुछ तो असमानता है जिसका पालन करना ही चाहिए ..

और स्पष्टीकरण चाहिए हो तो बताएं

Gourav Agrawal said...

और लोगों से ये विचार शेयर करते हुए घबराता हूँ की वो मुझे स्त्री विरोधी न समझ लें पर आपसे डर नहीं लगता क्योंकि आप मेरी सोच से सहमत न भी हो तो उसे सुधारने के लिए कोई नया विचार अवश्य देंगी...

मेरी सोच एकदम साफ़ है (मेरे नज़रिए से ) उसका कोई दूसरा पक्ष नहीं है और अगर कोई कमी है भी तो मैं सुधार करने के लिए हमेशा तैयार हूँ
शायद इसीलिए आप से डर नहीं लगता हो

Gourav Agrawal said...

@-पुरुष अपनी पूरी जिंदगी सीखता है .. वो सिर्फ एक विद्यार्थी है, और अक्सर स्त्री ही सच्ची शिक्षक होती है , कभी माँ के रूप में कभी बहन के रूप में कभी पत्नी के रूप में कभी बेटी के रूप में ..

ये मैंने अपने नज़रिए से कहा है..... मैं जानता हूँ की मानव ( स्त्री पुरुष दोनों ) ही आजीवन सीखते है
मेरी बात आपको टिपण्णी में भी स्पष्ट हो जाएगी
"आपसे डर नहीं लगता क्योंकि आप मेरी सोच से सहमत न भी हो तो उसे सुधारने के लिए कोई नया विचार अवश्य देंगी..."

Gourav Agrawal said...

हमें ज्ञान को डिग्री में नहीं बांटना चाहिए था शायद इसीलिए वो महंगी है और आपको कहना पड़ा की
"What about the parents who took great pains to raise her daughter with the best of education possible? "
गावों में दाई के पास कौनसी डिग्री होती थी पर उनका काम किसी डॉक्टर से कम भी तो नहीं था
कई बार कैसे एक मेकेनिक... एक इंजिनीअर से बेहतर मशीन का आविष्कार कर पाता है ??
कैसे किसान ही कई बार नए यन्त्र बना कर सबको हैरत में डाल देता है ??
कैसे रामानुजम की दिए चार फोर्मुलास को सोल्व करने में सालों लग जाते है ??
सुभाष चन्द्र बोस भी अपने ज़माने के टोपर थे
बिजनेस चलाने के लिए रचनात्मक दूर द्रष्टि वाला मस्तिष्क चाहिए जो (मेरा मानना है ) स्त्री को प्रकृति से मिला है
और ये भे तो संभव है की इस उद्योग का स्तर बढ़ने पर पुरुषों ( डिग्री धारी भी ) को भी इसमें रोजगार मिले और उन्हें नारी शक्ति का एहसास भी हो जाये
ये भी पढ़ें
http://my2010ideas.blogspot.com/2010/04/blog-post_25.html

Gourav Agrawal said...

प्रतिभावान मानव( स्त्री पुरुष दोनों ) को कभी असुक्षा का भय महसूस नहीं होता...... अगर हो रहा है तो वह प्रतिभावान नहीं हैं

मैं बस ये मानता हूँ की अगली पीढ़ी को सही दिशा देने से बड़ा काम कोई नहीं हो सकता

एक कहावत भी है जिसका अर्थ है की
अगर संतान अच्छी हो तो धन संचय की कोई आवश्यकता नहीं
और अगर संतान बुरी हो तो भी धन संचय की कोई आवश्यकता नहीं

Gourav Agrawal said...

वैसे एक बात तो है आपके साथ ये सोच शेयर करके मैं इसे और सुरक्षित महसूस कर रहा हूँ , अरे हाँ आपका एक प्रश्न रह गया

हाफ सेटिस्फेक्शन : वैसे तो ऊपर लिखे कमेन्ट अगर मिला कर पढ़ें जाएँ तो इसका उत्तर मिल ही जायेगा पर फिर भी मैं दोहरा रहा हूँ
ये संतुष्टि मिलती किस पद पर है ?? मेरा मतलब जॉब की कौनसी पोस्ट बता देगी की हाँ अब ठीक है, अब संतुष्ट हो जाना चाहिए ??
इस कम्पीटीशन के दौर में या कहें सेटिस्फेक्शन के दौर में बच्चों के सेटिस्फेक्शन का क्या ?? क्या वो कुछ शेयर नहीं करना चाहते, आज स्कूल में ये हुआ , मैंने ये कहा उसने वो जवाब दिया आदि आदि
क्या ये संतुष्टि किसी निजी स्वार्थ और अंत में वही मुद्दा "मेरी अपनी पहचान " की और नहीं ले जा रही है ???
ये पढ़ें
http://my2010ideas.blogspot.com/2010/05/blog-post.html

Divya said...

@-@-अब परेशानी ये है की स्त्री को भी पुरुष ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है ...
हाँ ये लाइन कुछ अधूरी सी लगती है ये कुछ ऐसा होना चाहिए
"आज कल स्त्री को भी "स्वतंत्र पुरुष" ही बनना अच्छा लग रहा है ."

Gaurav ji,

This statement is still not clear . What do you mean by saying that a woman wants to become a free man? The statement is not making any sense.

If you mean to say that by doing job, by taking important decisions on her own, by being independent financially, by being a pilot or a trend setter, she will become a man then you are mistaken.

That is called an aware woman ! An empowered woman !

Divya said...

@-मैं बस ये मानता हूँ की अगली पीढ़ी को सही दिशा देने से बड़ा काम कोई नहीं हो सकता

Indeed it's big job. Both the parents must contribute equally in giving direction to their children. Why only mothers are supposed to shape the future of next generation?...What about fathers who are already in shape by their respective mothers? Isn't it the duty of fathers also in guiding and shaping their children.

What is a man's duty towards his wife?
Just to contribute 40 million sperms ?

Does a father contribute in teaching /guiding his child?...Does he spend a little time with children playing with them and talking on issues? Do they ever feel like sharing there huge knowledge with their children? NO ! They simple marry a well educated girl to get a good tutor in his wife for his child and be free from this duty also.

A funny instance quoting here for a change..

I was watching 'Taare zamin parr" last year. In the interval, when the lights were turned on , i noticed almost 100% fathers were in tears. They realized how they are lagging in owning their responsibilities towards their children. All the proud mothers were watching the movie confidently. They were having no regrets of failing anywhere in raising their child.

If a child tops in his/her class, a father proudly announces among his peers.."He is my son , I am proud of him"

But Alas !...He is not proud of the woman who daily spends hours in shaping the little child inch by inch !

Divya said...

@-ये संतुष्टि मिलती किस पद पर है ?? मेरा मतलब जॉब की कौनसी पोस्ट बता देगी की हाँ अब ठीक है, अब संतुष्ट हो जाना चाहिए ??

Satisfaction comes only when a person gets what he/she deserves. A work done with constraints where a person is not satisfied is known as 'under employment'

A girl who is Graduate/ post graduate/professionally qualified gets satisfaction by being in right place which she always has dreamt of .

A person in job gets appreciations, incentives and promotions, he/she is admired by peers and superiors. What a lady gets by being home maker?

Shall a woman be satisfied by getting a husband, a child and riches on earth?

Doesn't she study the same History , geography , physics and chemistry?

Doesn't a woman dream to fly high and prove her worth in all spheres ?

Is she good enough for raising a child only?

Why a woman has to be happy with jewelery, and family only?

Why she is supposed to abort all her ambitions and dreams , right after marriage?

Why she is supposed to be happy in her husband's and child's achievements only?

Doesn't a woman has some responsibilities towards society? Can't she contribute something to her bigger family [society]?

Why only a woman has to compromise with her career for sake of family?

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

Change is the eternal course of progress. Be it of processes, things, concepts or beliefs.

Change is the delta shift which begins almost imperceptibly and with wider prevalence of the acceptance of change, it becomes the ‘norm’ of the present day.

All of us have to eventually be a part and parcel of the irreversible phenomenon of change. We have to change with times if we are to walk along with the times. We do not have the liberty to decide against change.

However, the enterprising and ones with foresight will accept change quicker than those ensconced in the trappings of ‘convention’.

Pranaaligat vichaar-shaili badlaav ki baadhak hain.

Given this scenario, it would be always prudent to be a trailblazer in change rather than a tail-ender.

I believe [and this is my personal, unbiased, undirected belief] that we cannot influence change in anyone unless we ourselves embrace it first. Lead by example. Further, change can never be brought about by a single individual. Change is the gradual process of ordinarization of the uncommon. Unless, examples galore abound in the society, it will be seen as an exception, rather, even as a deviation, by the old vanguards of prevalent ‘norm’.

When faced with a grim situational difficulty or limitation in embracing the change despite the will to do so, dearest ZEAL, we must not let despair and angst take hold of us.

Always believe in your will to adopt the change – Ek Sundar Divase.

As to your mention of ‘without offending’, well, I would bring to the table a very strange parallel. It goes thus. We ‘offended hugely’ the British to get Our Freedom. We sought change, en masse we got it.

Sarfaroshi ki tamannaa ab hamaare dil mein hain
Dekhnaa zor kitnaa baazu-e-qaatil mein hain

“Swaraaj haa maazaa jamn-sidhh adhikaar aahe aani to mi milavinach” – Lokmanyna Tilak told the presiding judge defying the ‘norm’ in 1908 and embracing change.

Just an interesting aside - Do you know whom he hired as his lawyer? A brilliant, young man who went by the name of Mohammed Ali Jinnah! Zmiles.

Back to the mention on change.

Today is 23rd June 2010.

It was on 23rd June 1757, that the battle of Plassey was won by the British against Siraj-ul-daulah laying the foundation of the British Raj in India.

It took about 190 years for us to bring about the ‘change’ in the ’norm’ established then.

I conclude with this couplet which denotes the path of change.

Safar mein dhoop to hogi, jo chal sako to chalo
Sabhi hain bheed mein, tum jo nikal sako chalo


Arth kaa
Natmastak charan-sparsh

Divya said...

@-All of us have to eventually be a part and parcel of the irreversible phenomenon of change. We have to change with times if we are to walk along with the times. We do not have the liberty to decide against change...

@- Arth,

I agree with you.We need to change with time. Those who resist will certainly be lagging in the beautiful world ahead.

Until unless we start thinking selflessly about the other gender [the 50% of human species], the peace and progress will wave at us from distance. [Dilli duur hi rahegi ]

Let's hope the best.

Soon! Very soon !

Ek sundar divase !

One fine day the nature will smile back at us when there will be genuine , innocent smiles on our lips and tears of joy in eyes.

हिमान्शु मोहन said...

कल कुछ और टिप्पणी थी जो मैं पोस्ट करना चाहता था - तब तक 57 टिप्पणियाँ दिख रही थीं। अब कुछ और कहना है -77 टीप देख कर।
आग़ाज़ में ये हाल है - तो ख़ैर ही समझो
दिखलाए रब्त ज़्यादा - तो फिर ग़ैर ही समझो
स्वागत आपके आलेखों का - जारी रहिए।

अब वह टिप्पणी भी जो कल सहेज कर रखनी पड़ी - नेट के धड़ाम् हो जाने से:
बहुत जागरूक और विचार जगाती हुई है यह पोस्ट - सबूत ऊपर की टिप्पणियाँ हैं।
पुरुष नारी के बीच का द्वन्द्व भी ; साहचर्य भी - शाश्वत है।
नारी को पुरुष की बराबरी नहीं, अपनी अस्मिता की बात करनी चाहिए।
पुरुष को भी नारी को देवी नहीं, दासी नहीं, हम-सफ़र, हम-ज़बाँ, हम-सख़ुन, यानी कुल मिला कर "हम" के रूप में ही देखना चाहिए।
नारी को पुरुष को न अत्याचारी, न दास - बल्कि मित्र और सहचर के रूप में देखना चाहिए। मगर जो "चाहिए" वह होता नहीं; और होता नहीं - इसीलिए "चाहिए", वर्ना हो गया होता तो "चाहिए" क्यों रहता?
मगर इस में कोई शक़ नहीं कि नारी की स्थिति अभी भी बहुत सुधार चाहती है, हिन्दुस्तान में कम से कम। और इसके लिए शिक्षा सबसे ज़रूरी है।
मेरा एक सपना है कि मैं अपने दायित्व निभाने के अतिरिक्त (ईश्वर मुझे शक्ति, जीवन और संसाधन अगर बख़्शे तो) कुछ लड़कियों की शिक्षा - कम से कम माध्यमिक स्तर तक करा सकूँ। सपना यहाँ बाँटा इसलिए कि अगर किसी और को यह बात जमे - और कोई और भी अपना योगदान दे सके किसी एक भी कन्या की शिक्षा में - थोड़ा भी - तो मेरा उद्देश्य अंशत: पूरा ही होगा।
"नारी वर्सेस पुरुष" में से "वर्सेस" को "सह" की "वर्स" से रिप्लेस कर दीजिए - मसला हल!
अच्छे आलेख की बधाई!

Divya said...

@- Himanshu Mohan-

पुरुष को भी नारी को देवी नहीं, दासी नहीं, हम-सफ़र, हम-ज़बाँ, हम-सख़ुन, यानी कुल मिला कर "हम" के रूप में ही देखना चाहिए।
नारी को पुरुष को न अत्याचारी, न दास - बल्कि मित्र और सहचर के रूप में देखना चाहिए।...

You said everything !

Glad to know your thinking. Earth will turn into paradise if all will start thinking in this way. Your words have given hope to many of us. At least we have few people around , who are with us in all walks of life.

@-मेरा एक सपना है कि मैं अपने दायित्व निभाने के अतिरिक्त (ईश्वर मुझे शक्ति, जीवन और संसाधन अगर बख़्शे तो) कुछ लड़कियों की शिक्षा - कम से कम माध्यमिक स्तर तक करा सकूँ।

Thanks for sharing the dream with us. It is indeed a very big dream and the most beautiful one ! I already have taken a step in this direction. Joined hands with Dr.Kiran Bedi, who was here on 18th March to promote the NGO she is into and asking for adopting a child.

I wish your dream to come true.

'Hum chalenge saath saath,
Honge haathon mein hath,
Hum honge kaamyaab Ek din "

Mann mein hai Vishwaas, pura hai vishwaas..

Regards,

pankaj mishra said...

good very nice.

R. Ramesh said...

good one indeed..i totally agree with the view:)

Divya said...

@- Pankaj Mishra
@- R Ramesh

Thanks .

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

If you are hoping abut 'selfless' thinking for the 'other gender' it is like hoping for Utopia.

Let us be realistic. Let us do things at our level and know that at least we did our bit by opting for change sooner rather than later.

I firmly believe one can not influence the society singularly. Even prolific thinkers are often credited with foresight when much later after they had spoken of something, came to pass by.

Here, they did not influence change, but only proved they were the leading recognisers of the imminent change.

I am a stuanch capitalist and the only equality I believe is in opportunity. Those who have in them, seize the initiative and avail the opportunity. Those who can't sit back and lament upon or crib on or criticise the opportunity which is the forerunner of change.

One of my personal favorite maxim is the one quoted by Bill Gates - Life is not fair, get used to it.

This is a very positive maxim as it throws the gauntlet at us to go out and get the bigger share. The opportunity available is for all. How many wull seize it is the question?

Male-female inequality is not going to get resolved through coffee-table debates or on platforms on mental gymnastics.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Need is the propeller of change.

One must be knowing many societies where womenfolk are a greater presence than their counterpart males.

For example, post World War II, many countries faced a dearth of men to be able to work and this need of hands to work brought upon the opportunity which was taken up with gusto by the womenfolk. Japan is the most sterling example of all. Change came about and today it is very commonplace to see more women at work than men.

In India, the familial and societal considerations are mite different so may be we will take a longer time. Our 'need' is not as pressing yet, hence the pace of change is slower.

But, today, all around our mighty nations, we see more and more awareness of educating the girl-child, better health awareness for young mothers, greater work-life balance programs in corporates to facilitate the womenfolk.

From what little I know of, states like Gujarat has made girl child education free. Even IGNOU has, I believe, a softer fee structure for females.

What are these if not steps taken in the direction of the change that we are seeking and talking of here?

Will not the enhanced freedom, better conditions, greater freedom inculcate in the females to bring to their heart the wish to succeed, the wish to follow their hearts' calling, to pursue their dreams?

Dearest ZEAL, it will!

Seeds of today will be the plants of tomorrow.

It is easy to be sceptical and condemn the present state of affairs. It takes a greater vision to believe in the future. I am a born optimist and I always believe in a better tomorrow.

Time has validated it again and again.

In a capitalist world, who does the work doesn't matter. What matters is - Who does it Better? And if there be a proven reason to know that women are better at a particular thing, bet my word, men will find a tougher time to find employment.

Day by day, society is becoming more and more 'knowledge' driven. It is the knowledge of the woman that is appreciated and valued and her gender shall never inhibit her progress.

Being a capitalist and thereby, logically, materialistic too, I have been seeing all around myself that a woman who can contribute to the family kitty and consequently family fortunes by earning on the basis of her education is greatly preferred and encouraged too. Even parents wish the daughters to be educated so that the person she is married to later is even more educated and thus a better and secure financial future is seen.

Towards the end, I would say the change we are seeking is already taking roots in our society. We all are active participants of it and many of us are indeed trailblazers too. The rest will come and join us soon.


Arth kaa
Natmastak charan-sparsh

boletobindas said...

मेरे ब्लॉग पर आने के लिए धन्यवाद। आपका कहना सही है कि दर्द हमेशा ही दर्दनाक नहीं होता। एक समय ऐसा आता है जब दर्द ही दवा बन जाती है।

वैसे आपकी पोस्ट दमदार है। पर कुछ बाते तो हैं। सही तरीके से सोचा जाए तो माता हों या पिता दोनो का ही रोल होता है बराबर बच्चे को बनाने में। आजकल पति पत्नी में स्पेस की बात अक्सर होती है। पर हमारे देश में पति पत्नी का मतलब होता है दोनो को अपने को मिटा के एकदुसरे में घुलमिल जाना। अब अगर स्पेस होगा तो व्यक्तित्व का टकराव तो होगा ही। स्पेस होगा तो उसमें अलग अलग विचार आएंगे ही और वहीं से टकराव शुरु होगा। बेहतर होगा की आपस में दूरी मिटाके एक हो जाएं। ऐसे में एकदूसरे के विचारे साझे विचार हो जाएंगे। पर कहना आसान है करना मुशिकल। आप कहती हैं कि आदमी पढ़ा लिखा होने पर अब पढ़ालिखी बीबी चाहता है। पर कई लोग अपने से कम पढ़ी लिखी लड़की से शादी कर लेते हैं। उन्हें कोई प्रारब्लम नहीं होती। मगर पढ़ी लिखी लड़कियां मजबूरी में ही कम पढ़े लिखे लड़को से शादी करती हैं। आखिर उन्हें भी कम पढ़ी लिखा लड़का पसंद नहीं होता। जबकि आधुनिक जमाने में लड़को को जहां अपने से ज्यादा शिक्षित पत्नी पाने पर फख्र होना चाहिए वहीं लड़कियों को भी अपने विचार बदलने चाहिए।

जहां तक आपका प्रधानमंत्री औऱ राष्ट्रपति के बारे में प्रशन है। तो ये कुछ अलग मसला है। दोनो अपनी अपनी हैसियत रखते हैं। प्रधानमंत्री पद पर कौन किस तरह से काम करता है ये उस पर निर्भर करता है। लालबहादूर शास्त्री कमजोर प्रधानमंत्री माने गए थे, तो इंदिरा गांधी गुडि़या मानी गई थीं. पर दोनो ने ही अपनी इच्छाशक्ति और काम से लोगो को मुंहतोड़ जवाब दिया था। तो एक पद जिसमें ताकत निहित हो, उस को प्रयोग करने वाला इंसान कैसा है ये उसकी इच्छाशक्ति पर निर्भर करता है न कि स्त्री या पुरुष पर।

Divya said...

@ Arth Desai-

I very well agree with what you said. Change is likely. Change is happening. Doers are together. It's not a one man show. Women alone cannot bring the required change nor the men. "Together we can ".

Until unless the male and female energies unite, there won't be anything constructive or productive. The small input by a handful of willing people will go in vain. Thought is accepted by many, few have initiated, some are following and Hope is there.

More than men, women need to realize there power, they can contribute to the society without ignoring their responsibilities at home.

as you quoted by Bill Gates - "Life is not fair, get used to it."

I beg to differ here. Why to get used to anything unjust? This statement is violating the principles of justice and fairness.
Above quotation of Bill gates is monstrously unjust and socially harmful.

By being used to, of the unjust issues going around, or turning a blind eye towards such happenings, can we truly contribute anything of substance to the society? It will be more or less like asking the women lot to get used to all that is unfair with them.

Divya said...

@-Bole to Bindaas-

ref-एक पद जिसमें ताकत निहित हो, उस को प्रयोग करने वाला इंसान कैसा है ये उसकी इच्छाशक्ति पर निर्भर करता है न कि स्त्री या पुरुष पर।

Your thought is in consonance with mine . This is what i am trying to say hard. It all depends on will not on gender. Many women with great will power have proved their worth and contributed to society.

There should not be any division of duties between men and women.We must share duties and responsibilities together.

Few educated husbands say that it is my wife's choice to stay back at home and he didn't force her for this option. But my question is -

"Did the husband forced and encouraged his reluctant and lazy wife to move out from her shell and do something worthwhile?"

Husbands should encourage their wives to come forward and be their sehchari/sangini [companion], in all walks of life.

A woman must not waste her precious life by being at home in the name of family and children. It is more or less like an excuse from running away from their duties towards their bigger family [The society].

बी एस पाबला said...

अहा! ढ़ेर सारी प्रतिक्रियाएँ!!

अभी तो भाग रहा ऑफ़िस, बाद में आता हूँ।

वैसे, स्त्री-पुरूष समानता विवाद पर, इसी ब्लॉगजगत पर मैंने कहीं सलाहनुमा पढ़ा है कि
'स्त्री नम्बर 1 बनें, न कि पुरूष नम्बर 2'

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

The statement by Bill Gates is absolutely perfect. It is not in the least unjust. Those who see it thus are essentially the ones who are not ready for a gruelling challenge and wants things to be equal for all. It is again desiring Utopia – which is never going to happen. Ideal states – be in physics or in life, never exists. They are purely theoretical.

There is nothing in the quote that violates the principles of Justice and Fairness. Life is competitive and the only function of Justice and Fairness is to ensure wrong-doing is prevented. These principles are merely road markers for adherence to correct path of acts.

The statement of Bill Gates is tremendously positive and socially motivating.

There are two outlooks to it – one that I see and one that you saw. I see in it a beautiful challenge to go out into the world and achieve success. Your viewpoint is contrary to that of acceptance.

In a competitive world, there is no place for acceptance the status quo. It is always eager for challengers because they are the leaders of change.

If I may be allowed, let me borrow and apply a proverb to the debate of fair and unfair,

Jiski laathi,uski bhensh

I would tweak it a bit in the modern day parlance and say –

Jiskaa ‘Knowledge’, uskaa Desh

There is no demarcation on basis of gender in progressive societies and we are a progressive nation.

I still go by my strong conviction that the statement by Bill Gates is grandly positive and very motivating.

It reminds me of a couplet which goes thus:

Aap kehte thay ke rone se naa badlenge naseeb
Warnaa kyaa baat thi, kis baat ne rone naa diyaa?

We can sit and wail on the unfairness of life or we can take a positive strand from it and succeed.


Arth kaa
Natmastak charan-sparsh

Divya said...

@- 'स्त्री नम्बर 1 बनें, न कि पुरूष नम्बर 2'

@-B S Pabla-

You mentioned a very valid point. Hats off to you.

But let me add my view to it. A woman can never become a man nor she wants to. If she will rise against all odds she will be more gorgeous and more beautiful.

Dr Kiran Bedi
Indira Ganghi
Kasturba Gandhi
Pratibha Patil
Kalpana Chawala
Sunita in space
Soniya Gandhi
Sushma swaraj
Uma bharti
Hema Malini
Jaya bachhan
Sudha chandran
Sudha Krishnamurthi
Kavita krishnamurthi

And many more are women no-1,not men no-2

I bow my head for men and women no-1

बी एस पाबला said...

... will rise against all odds

बिल्कुल सही राह

न कि
... will rise by demolishing all odds

बाधाएँ पार करना ही सही चुनौती होती है, न कि बाधाएँ गिरा देना

Divya said...

बाधाएँ पार करना ही सही चुनौती होती है..

@ Pabli ji-

Indeed it's a challenge to cross the hurdles coming our way but positive thinking enables us to reach our goal.

Sahi kaha aapne.

Divya said...

@-Jiski laathi,uski bhains..

@ Arth-

I agree.

@-It is again desiring Utopia – which is never going to happen. Ideal states – be in physics or in life, never exists. They are purely theoretical.

Desiring for Utopia brings motivation to doers.

Be it physics or chemistry, A hypothesis is required, which turns into theory and later comes into practice.

So it is wise to dream big zealously.

Gerrard said...

That's true... a nicely written article.. Will be an eye-opener for many people! :) keep blogging..

govind said...

दिव्या जी आपको बधाई हो टिप्पणियों कि खूब बरसात है यहाँ तो इसी तरह से कर्म जारी रखिये.

govind said...

वही स्त्री पुरुष की तुलना पे चर्चा हो रही है. अच्छी बात है.

Divya said...

govind ji,

Swagat hai. Bahut dino baad aapse milkar prassannta hui.

शिवम् मिश्रा said...

A great article & an equally great discussion ! Congrats !

Divya said...

Govind ji,

Thanks and welcome here.

Divya said...

@ Shivam Mishra -

Glad to know that you liked the post. It's a pleasure to see you here. Will appreciate if you kindly share your opinion here.

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

Dreams are the starting point of realization of our ambition.

Dreams give us a goal.

Goal gives us a plan.

Plan gives us the details.

Details give us the path.

Path leads us to action.

Action brings about the realization of the dream.

Faith is the string which binds all beautifully.

With faith in our dream, we walk on the path towards Success.

The Walk Of Life!

Quoting a Gujarati couplet:

Shradhdhaa J Maari Lai Gayi Manzil Upar Mane
Rasto Bhuli Gayo To Dishaa-o Fari Gayi


Attempting a translation -

Shraddhaa hi le gayi manzil tak mujhe
Raastaa bhul gayaa to dishaa-e- badal gayi

The power of faith in our dreams. Against all adversities, it will guide us and lead us to achieve our goal.

Extremely proud to post the 100th Comment on this blog of yours, dearest ZEAL!!

A brilliant knock, as a cricket fanatic like me, would loudly cheer!

Congratulations!!

Raise your pen, take a bow!!
Class to all, doth you show!!
Holding thoughts many is thy mind
Eager to read, all that you know!!


Arth kaa
Natmastak charan-sparsh

manu said...

:(

अमरेन्द्र नाथ त्रिपाठी said...

इतनी बहसें देखकर बहुत अच्छा लगा !
यह संवादधर्मिता आपको भी सुकून दे रही होगी !
मुझे अंगरेजी नहीं आती पर बहुत देर तक कोशिश करने से
कुछ समझने में आता है , ऐसी स्थिति में इन बहसों को पढ़
लेने में ही भलाई है सो मात्रा लगाकर पढने वाले शिशु - सा इनसे
गुजर रहा हूँ !
टीपों की 'सेंचुरी' मुबारक !
मुग्ध हूँ कि लोग क्या गजब और धमाकेदार अंगरेजी लिखते हैं , इनकी
अंगरेजी देखकर अंग्रेज भी हैदास खाकर औंधे मुंह हो जांय !

आपने टेम्पलेट बदल दिया , इसका आभार !

Divya said...

@- Arth,

Faith is the string which binds all beautifully.

I agree.

Thanks

Divya said...

@-Amrendra,

@-यह संवादधर्मिता आपको भी सुकून दे रही होगी !

I have learnt the art of living to be at peace in all circumstances.

@-आपने टेम्पलेट बदल दिया , इसका आभार

Simplicity appeals !

Dhanyawaad

Gourav Agrawal said...

दिव्या जी
मैं हमेशा से चाहता हूँ की सारा नियंत्रण स्त्री के हाथों में हो पर रास्ता थोडा कठिन है. आपने जो प्रश्न पूछे हैं वो किसी पिछड़ी मानसिकता के पुरुष से ही पूछे जाते हैं .
क्या आज की नारी मुक्ति ( सही मायनों में ) को समझना एक मासूम बालिका के लिए आसान है , सभी क्रांतिकारी स्त्रियाँ भूल गयी हैं की उनको जो भी संस्कार मिले हैं वो परिवार से मिले है. उसी परिवार संस्कृति पर हमला हमला है ये झूठी स्वतंत्रता .
उम्मीद है आप पैसा कमाने भर को स्वतंत्रता का प्रतीक नहीं मानतीं ( अपने दम पर निर्णय लेना भविष्य के अकेलेपन की और एक कदम भी हो सकता है , हर किसी की किस्मत "सलाम नमस्ते" फिल्म की नायिका के पात्र जैसी न हुयी तो ??)
स्वतन्त्र पुरुष बनने से आशय लिव इन, वेलेंटाइन पद्दति को भारत में मिलते बढ़ावे से था . कोई भी संस्कृति स्त्री की स्वीकृति लिए बिना किसी देश में प्रवेश नहीं कर सकती
इनमें भी स्त्री की हार इसलिए होती है क्योंकि उसमे ममता होती है . ममता की धुरी पर उसका निर्मल मन रुपी चंद्रमा परिवार रुपी प्रथ्वी के चारों और घूमता है . स्त्री मुक्त हो ही नहीं सकती , ममता के बिना वह स्त्री भी नहीं रह जाएगी... सच है सम्पूर्णता एक मृगतृष्णा का नाम है जो न स्त्री को मिलेगी न पुरुष को हाँ दिखेगी जरूर . रही फिल्मों की बात तो आपने "ऐतराज" भी अवश्य देखी होगी.
अगर आपको मेरी बात मेरे पुरुष होने की वजह से समझ नही आ रही हो तो बात अलग है . न समझ पाने में कमी आपकी सोच में नहीं मेरी शब्दावली में है या कहूँ की गाँव की बात करते ही आपके मस्तिष्क में जो दुखी स्त्री की तस्वीर आती है वो अंग्रेजों के भारत आने के बाद की है . वजह प्रचार भी हो सकता है ..ताज महल जैसा शिव मंदिर किसी के प्यार की निशानी के रूप में विश्व भर में मशहूर हो सकता है तो कुछ भी हो सकता है . आपके हर कमेन्ट की इतनी चीरफाड़ की है की ये जवाब किसी सकारात्मक प्रतिक्रिया की उम्मीद में नहीं दे रह हूँ
अंत में इतना कहूँगा न तो आपको मैंने कभी अवांछित स्वतंत्रता की बीमारी से पीड़ित माना है न मैं तारे जमीन पर में दिखाए गए पुरुष की तरह संवेदन हीन पुरुष हूँ
पर आने वाली पीढियां शायद ही इन बातों को समझ पायेगी क्योंकि हर किसी को स्वतंत्रता शब्द बहुत अच्छा लगेगा तब किसी को भी रोक पाना मुश्किल ही नहीं नामुमकिन होगा(कोई एक धुरी तो होगी जिसके चारों और हमें घुमते रहना होगा और वो सिर्फ परिवार है या कहें संस्कार हैं )

Divya said...

Gaurav ji,

aapne bahut achhi baat uthaayee hai. Sehmat hun aapse. Mujhe aapke pragatisheel vichaar achhe lagte hain.

Somewhere i feel you are averse to 'freedom'. Try to see it in a positive light. A woman can have a feeling of satisfaction by making a place of her own in this world.

As far as family is concerned, there is a mother in all women. For us family is indeed a priority, but doing something of worth for society also, can give an added satisfaction to them.

"Dil hai chhota sa, chhoti si aasha...
aasmano mein...udne ki asha..
Dil hai chhota sa...

manu said...

kaahe jhagdadte ho yaar...?

Divya said...

@-Manu,

Jhagda, aapsi pyar ki nishani hai.

Gair to kinara kar lete hain.

manu said...

OK...

to aap logon ko pyaar aur aasheerwaad...!!


:)

:)

Divya said...

ha ha ha ...Thanks Manu...So kind of you.

सुमित प्रताप सिंह said...

nice post...

डा० अमर कुमार said...


Hey.. Who said that blogging is passtime of dumb fools ?

Come n' See yourself, we are a vibrant bunch of thinkbuds.

Look why am I euphoric over 111 interactions, so far !

Divya said...

Dr Amar,

Euphoria is contagious. Engulfing me too...lol.

The buoyant being [she],is feeling the rhythmic steps and twitches in her toes.

Thanks for doubling my Euphoria.

Divya said...

Sumit ji, Thanks Sir.

सम्वेदना के स्वर said...

Divya ji, no-one would disagree with your views… and there is no problem in accepting the fact, rather people have started accepting this…my boss is a woman and I report to her… but during lunch she is just another woman from the society and discuss all her family problems with me… change of role from boss to the companion…
Actually, one important aspect of this problem of discrimination is DEMANDING equality… on various forums women have raised their voice in agitation that we SHOULD get the equality… this always provokes men, after all they have ruled the planet by default for ages… there are persons against whom you bow down… but if he asks to bow against himself… the respect belittles…
Anyways, I feel the same as you have expressed and not only feel practice also...

Avinash Chandra said...

Divya ji,

To be very very honest..in past 4 days or so, I have read this 10 times or so. Gone through the comments no. of times Zaheer goes round the wickets a over, but could not find words to describe my agreement....
May be I am not complete aligned to your direction at every point you have mentioned but still,

for this...

Women must boycott reservations in all spheres. They should not be lured by such mirages. Reservations are outright insults of women folk. If we have to move ahead, we ought to prove our worth by our actions .

" A woman who rocks the cradle can rule the world also ". It is proven now.


I stand like your mirror, a high five for writing this word.
All in all a very nice work.
Keep enlightening us with your views. All the best.

Gourav Agrawal said...

दिव्या जी मैं "मन की स्वतंत्रता" को सही नहीं मानता या ऐसी कोई भी स्वतंत्रता जिसमे उचित और सुख को एक न किया गया हो .
मेरी नज़रों में स्त्री की स्वतंत्रता जितनी बाधित नज़र आएगी उतनी ही पुरुष की भी नज़र आएगी पर शायद यहाँ विषय किसी तरह स्त्री के ऊपर ही आ टिका है
अगर स्त्री से सीता बनने की उम्मीद करता हूँ तो पुरुष से राम बनने की
अभी तक मेरे विचार पूरी तरह सामने नहीं आ पाए है
मेरे सोल्यूशन ( स्माल स्केल बिजनेस ) पूरे देश की तरक्की को ध्यान में रखते हुए बनाये है . केवल एक परिवार की आर्थिक स्थिति सुधारने के लिए नहीं क्योंकि मेरी नज़रों में बेरोजगार पुरुष भी उतना ही बड़ा परतंत्र और अबला है जितनी की घर में अरुचि से काम करने वाली स्त्री

Gourav Agrawal said...

पुरुष स्त्री से भी लम्बे समय से " मर्द हो कर रो रहा है " वाले वाक्यों से शोषित होता आ रहा है पर उसे कभी आवाज उठाना आया ही नहीं .
स्त्री हमेशा से प्रतिभावान मस्तिष्क की स्वामिनी रही है ( प्राकृतिक रूप से ) , ये अच्छी बात है की वो दबाव में नहीं रहना चाहती.
जब भी स्त्री अपने आप को मुक्त पाए तो उससे अनुरोध है की वो अनंत काल से पीड़ित पुरुष को भी बचाने के पूरे प्रयास करे .

Gourav Agrawal said...

चलिए अब आपके लिखे गाने के मुखड़े "दिल है छोटा सा छोटी सी आशा " गाने वाली फिल्म रोजा की भी बात करें
बहुत ही प्रभावी और सीख देने वाली फिल्म है इसमें एक स्त्री अपने सारी आजादी वाले विचार छोड़ कर विवाह के
बाद संकट आने पर किस तरह से संजीदा हो जाती है और अपनी सारी उर्जा को अपने पति की खोज में
लगा देती है और अंत में अपनी सच्ची ख़ुशी को पा ही लेती है

Gourav Agrawal said...

मैं शाहरुख़ और गौरी को भी उतना आदर्श कपल मानता हूँ जितना की अभिषेक और ऐश्वर्या (संयुक्त परिवार में रहने वाले ) को
पर अगर देश के बाहर झांकता हूँ तो ऐसे कई कपल देखने को मिल जायेंगे जो की हर कुछ महीनो में अपने नए जीवन साथी का चुनाव करते हैं ( दोनों स्वतन्त्र जो ठहरे, बस इसी स्वतंत्रता से डर लगता है ) संस्कार बिना दोहराए तो लुप्त हो जायेंगे ही पर टाइम भी तो मिले तब तो दोहराएँ .
हमारे पास हमारे विचारों में पूर्वजों का संतुलन मौजूद है इसीलिए हम स्वतंत्रता को सही मायनो में अभी समझ रहें है विकासशील देशों के पास शायद धीरे धीरे पीढी दर पीढी सिर्फ " फ्रीडम " की खोज में जो हाल है सबके सामने है . कल क्या होगा ???
अब चर्चा का अंत क्या निकलता है ?? मैंने आपकी सोच को पढ़ा है और आपके कमेंट्स से पहले भी पढता रहा हूँ ...समझा भी है इसे नकार देने का और खुद को एकतरफा विद्वान समझने का मेरा कोई इरादा नहीं है . मनोविज्ञान (अंग्रेजी और भारतीय दोनों ) और भारत के इतिहास पर खोज करता रहा हूँ . इसमें सभी नयी सोच ( स्त्री और पुरुष दोनों) के विचारों का शामिल होना जरूरी है

Gourav Agrawal said...

totally agree with this statement

Jhagda, aapsi pyar ki nishani hai.

Gair to kinara kar lete hain.

Gourav Agrawal said...

इस बात से २०० प्रतिशत सहमत हूँ (उम्मीद है हर नारी आपकी तरह सोचती हो )

As far as family is concerned, there is a mother in all women. For us family is indeed a priority, but doing something of worth for society also, can give an added satisfaction to them.

family is indeed a priority
इतना सुन कर संतुष्टि मिली है

बी एस पाबला said...

यह बात नि:संकोच कही जा सकती है कि पूर्वाग्रह रहित ऐसा स्वस्थ विमर्श दुर्लभ ही है इस हिन्दी ब्लॉगजगत में

बी एस पाबला

Divya said...

@ Samvedna ke swar,

Am very glad to know your views. If a woman is anyone's boss in some place, then she is a wonderful companion there also as you beautifully described.

A man cannot forget his family while in office, then how come a woman will forget?

In fact whatever we do, irrespective of gender, we are doing everything for the sake of our family only.

By working she can contribute her bit to the society and family as well.

In the work place she earns mental satisfaction,appreciations,rewards, incentives and promotions by proving her worth. These returns enhances her confidence and self esteem. This enriches her persona. She emerges as a better woman. And a better woman can indeed serve her family in a better way.

A confident woman can be a better wife and a better mother as well. She can switch from dependent to dependable.

Divya said...

@-Ashish Chandra ji-

Very happy to hear your views.

I seriously feel that by such discussions without any bias can truly help in knowing the other gender in a better way.

By reading a woman's view , men are coming to know how she feels, what she desires, what her dreams are, how she can be more happy and so on.

Likewise by reading the views of different men here, I am also coming to know how they feel, what they expect from women in society and also about their fears.

Everything and all issues can be solved by such genuine interactions.

I pleasingly announce that i always came across the wonderful men in my real life and course here in this discussion also.

Why a man is always seen in negative shade , is beyond my comprehension. In fact i have discovered more than women, men are thinking about women empowerment.

Hats off to such men [GEMS] in the form of our brothers and friends.

Anonymous said...

My Mother or my Father?
My sister or my brother?
My daughter or my son?
My friend Sanjay or my friend Sarika?
My husband or myself?
Male bloggers or the female ones?
Dr. Manmohan Singh is more capable or our president Pratibha Patil?
Kalpana Chawla or Rakesh Sharma?
Dr Divya or Dr Hiten?




DIVYA or GAURAV

:)

manu said...

जब सब लोग ठीक बोल रहे हैं फिर काहे कि टेंशन है...?
पढ़ भी नहीं पाए हम ठीक से...कि कौन कौन क्या क्या कह गया..?

अब एक नयी पोस्ट डाली जाए इधर....

:)

manu said...

ye anaam comment bhi hamaaraa hi hai...

:)

Divya said...

@ Gaurav Agarwal ji-

I very much appreciate your views, queries and inner conflicts.

Let us not use the word 'freedom' for a while. It distracts us from our point of discussion. I am not a fundamentalist and not raising any voice for freedom or equality. All i am trying to do is to make the men lot aware of the subtle aspect that a woman fears to share or hides her feelings or skips to mention, or hesitates to point out. She expects in silence. I am just breaking that silence .I am just representing the softer lot [women] on earth. I want their genuine love and care and dreams to be addressed.

Again repeating.."Dil hai chhota sa, chhoti si asha, aasmanon mein udne ki asha.."

Dear men, give us the wings to fly high. Hope , not asking for too much.

I very much liked the movie 'YASHWANT' in which Nana patekar forced, encouraged and supported his wise to study hard and become and IAS officer.

Did the wife stopped loving her husband after achieving her goal ?

How many husbands are like him as presented in that movie? But this can be done. Not a big deal. And it will reflect a man's beautiful thinking as well.

Divya said...

ha ha ha Manu ji, thanks for the cute comments.

Gourav Agrawal said...

Let us not use the word 'freedom' for a while. It distracts us from our point of discussion.

yes 100% correct

Gourav Agrawal said...

I very much liked the movie 'YASHWANT' in which Nana patekar forced, encouraged and supported his wise to study hard and become and IAS officer.

मैंने ये मूवी नहीं देखी :(

पर किरण बेदी जी को हमेशा आदर्श मानता रहा हूँ

Gourav Agrawal said...

Did the wife stopped loving her husband after achieving her goal ?

बस...... ये ही तो संस्कारों पर निर्भर है ( हमारे पास तो फिर भी हैं .....पर अगली पीढ़ी का क्या ???मानव अच्छी बातें तेजी से भूलता है , संस्कार कहाँ सीखाए जा रहे हैं ???)

Divya said...

When a woman comes out of the four walls and starts working. She comes to term with the harsh realities of the world existing outside her home. She learns, adapts and improves herself.

This exposure makes a woman confident,considerate and more enlightened in all spheres.She knows better what is the demand of time and what are the requirements. She can deliver better to her own family by being confident and more aware.

If a father loves his daughter and extends his support to her in all walks of life and opportunities, then a loving can also do the same for his wife with a great ease and without any hitch.

Instead of enhancing her outer beauty by giving a diamond necklace, it will be admirable to enrich her inner beauty by encouraging her to be more confident and independent.

Gourav Agrawal said...

Instead of enhancing her outer beauty by giving a diamond necklace, it will be admirable to enrich her inner beauty by encouraging her to be more confident and independent.

100 % correct

मैं भी ये ही कहना चाहता हूँ इसीलिए सीता और राम का उदाहरण दिया है ( सदा जीवन उच्च विचार )

Divya said...

@-बस...... ये ही तो संस्कारों पर निर्भर है ( हमारे पास तो फिर भी हैं .....पर अगली पीढ़ी का क्या ???मानव अच्छी बातें तेजी से भूलता है , संस्कार कहाँ सीखाए जा रहे हैं ???)

Gaurav ji,

If a naive woman staying back at home can give culture [sanskaar] to children, then why do you fear that an enlightened and aware woman cannot do so?

When we are talking about making a woman more aware and strong, then from where the fear of 'sanskaar' comes into picture?

manu said...

शायद अब aap लोगों को लाठियां निकाल लेनी चाहियें...


:)
:)

अपने अपने एड्रेस भेजो..हम भेजते हैं आपको लाठियां...

Divya said...

Pabla ji,

Many thanks to you Sir. Your words always encourage me.

Gourav Agrawal said...

गार्गी और मदालसा जैसे महान व्यक्तित्वों की ही बात मैं भी कर रहा हूँ
"पहले मन पर विजय फिर जग पर विजय"
मैं जानता हूँ ये थोडा ज्यादा अध्यात्मिक हो गया और शायद विषय से अलग भी पर ये सन्देश तो सभी के लिए है

Gourav Agrawal said...

अभी जाने का समय हो गया है कल चर्चा करते हैं :)

have a nice day :)

manu said...

:)

:) :) :)



:)

Divya said...

Dr.Kiran Bedi is my ideal .

I want people to go through her book - 'I dare'.

How loyal she was in her duties when her little daughter was suffering from nephritis and admitted in hospital.

Dr. Kiran Bedi was harrased a lot by seniors and govt. officials, but failed to deter her from her objective.

Her daughter was in hospital delhi and Kiran was transferred to GOA. She requested to the then- ministers and officials for her stay in delhi for few months for the treatment of her daughter, but none listened to her. Such is the insensitive lot we have. They want woman to give sanskaar to kids but they didn't consider her request to stay with her daughter who was struggling for life.

Finally Kiran left was GOA leaving her daughter in hospital where her own parents looked after the grand daughter.

When someone rises too high and becomes our ideal. Then just believe that its not a miracle. There are true pains a person suffers to rise so high and shine in everyone's eyes.

There is no short cut to success.

Gourav Agrawal said...

Divya said...

......They want woman to give sanskaar to kids but they didn't consider her request to stay with her daughter who was struggling for life.



मैंने किताब नहीं पढी है..... पर क्या ये वाक्य किताब में लिखे हैं ??


"They want woman to give sanskaar to kids"

but

"they didn't consider her request to stay with her daughter who was struggling for life"

इस प्रश्न का जवाब अवश्य दें, मैं जानने का इच्छुक हूँ



अगर नहीं तो कुछ ऐसा किताब का अंश बताएं जिससे ये पता चलता हो की ये स्थानान्तरण "स्त्री विरोधी मानसिकता से पीड़ित" था जो आपने हमारी साधारण सी चर्चा में ये वाक्य जोड़ दिया है

Divya said...

Gaurav ji,

I didn't quote any sentence from the book. I simply cited the example where she was so helpless but no one understood her pain and considered her request. People around us are so insensitive.

Gourav Agrawal said...

@ People around us are so insensitive.

बिलकुल ठीक कहा आपने

Gourav Agrawal said...

@ दिव्या जी
असंवेदनशील लोग स्त्री पुरुष में कोई भेद नहीं करते
मानवीय गुण और दुर्गुण स्त्री पुरुष दोनों में हो सकते है

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

I completely differ in the reading I take from your cited example of Kiran Bedi.

There is no big deal, no sacrifice in it. No harassment. No insensitivity.

Kiran Bedi was doing a job and was very well getting paid for it. Further, she was well aware of the nature of her job being subject to getting posted anywhere. She had made the choice to be in this particular job on her own. It was NOT FORCED on her by someone who constantly pressurised her with “you must do this and let me get/create your job for you”.

So, if she got a posting order elsewhere, she ought to relocate without making such a big fuss about it. And, if she can't get relocated, she might as well have quit rather than crib on it and later use it to glorify herself. Pathetic.

So many people [men and woman alike] get Transfer Orders which disrupt their life. Do you think they all are perfectly fine with that and readily move? Zyaadaatar log, haath-per maarte hain, boss ke aage gidgaate hain tabaadlaa rokne ke liye. Main khud bhi isi mein shaamil hoon. Haal hi main meraa tabaadlaa kiyaa gayaa. Try ki ke wo rokaa jaaye. Nahi safal ho paaye, so chal diye.

Isi taraah sab sochte hain – Huaa to naseeb warna chalo boriyaa-bistar uthaakar. Aakhir rozgaari koi aise hi to nahi milti. Naukri ko thokar maarne kaa matlab kyaa hotaa hain wo ek aam insaan se zyaadaa koi nahi jaantaa. Badi kursiyo-waale to desh-videsh mein iskaa bhi zikr karke paise banaa lete hain. Unkaa kyaa.

Coming back to the Transfer point. Same like the ordinary jantaa is the case of Transfer Order with Kiran Bedi. I am certain, she also must have pleaded and tried to use her contacts given her genuine need about her daughter’s condition. I fully empathise with her as I know how tough it is to be parted from family. And, therefore, I totally support her in that attempt of hers to get her transfer revoked.

Having failed to get her transfer revoked, and SIMPLY because she is a BIG-SHOT in real life [and in the TRUEST sense of the word], her going to the place of transfer is needlessly glorified as you have described it having read it in her own words.

This is the funniest part. She herself goes about quoting it. Waah bhai waah! Apne munh miyaa mitthoo. Zmiles.

Bade logo ki badi baatein. Hum to aam aadmi thehre, aam nazariye se hi dekhte hain sansaar ke ghatnaa-kramo ko.

Soch rahaa thaa - aakhir kyon aisaa kiyaa usne? Fir dhyaan mein aayaa -

"I Dare" kitaab jo chhaapni thi! Masaaledaar cheez jaldi bikti hain. Agar kisi vaakye ko badhaayaa-chadhaayaa nahi jaaye to fir aam insaan se alag kaise dikhegi, Laughz. Aur kahaaniyaa manohar ho tabhi lubhaati hain, film-o ki taraah - kuchh aam se hatkar chaahiye. Public ko siti maarne ke liye, Influence karne ke liye.

She is not at a culprit in this attempt. Most BIG-SHOTS due it when they see their prowess and/or public-appeal going down. They simply cash-in all they have seen in life.

No wonder she had to do 'road-shows' to peddle her book.

She Dared, indeed.

Nothing said heretofore is in disregard of her. I respect her for achievements. And she is truly exemplary, a REAL BIG-SHOT [who has actually achieved something in life] but I do not believe in such 'made-up' stories of self-magnanimity.

All said and done, it was a simple case of transfer and the committed employee abiding by the orders. It has nothing to do at all with having risen higher or being lower. The pain is more for smaller people than bigger ones like her - as she could afford things by her having adequate money/power/influence [in Delhi though she might be posted in Goa] which ordinary people can not. I agree her motherly concern but let me tell you mothers' of poorer people also care equally.

Difference is they do not go about publishing it as a 'great sacrifice'.

Just a personal viewpoint of mine.


Arth kaa
Natmastak charansparsh

Divya said...

@ Arth-

To criticize is easy. I tend to see the positives in everyone.

If we go on listing people with negative attributes , then there will be an endless list.

Osama, Nehru , Indira, Bapu, Rajeev, Rahul, Sonia, Narendra Modi, Kiran Bedi and so on..

All are human beings with virtues and vices both. Still, they are not a general run of a mill. They are indeed exemplary.

If not she, then people like whom shall we aspire for?

She is a not a Big shot. She is a role model for many. She is my ideal. I wish i can become as courageous and daring as she is.

She is a woman of substance and to be anywhere near her is my dream.

Divya said...

@-असंवेदनशील लोग स्त्री पुरुष में कोई भेद नहीं करते
मानवीय गुण और दुर्गुण स्त्री पुरुष दोनों में हो सकते है

Gaurav ji,

I agree that insensitive lot do not differentiate between the two . That is the reason we expect more from the sensitive lot to be equally generous and impartial towards both the gender.

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

Fair enough. For you she may be an ideal.

For me, no ways. My ideal are my parents regardless of whatever they have achieved or failed to achieve.

Such leaders are never exemplary to be blinded by. They have their positives and I acknowledge them. Honestly, I admire the great strength they have to achieve what they have but they are never inspirational for me.

As I said, it is a personal view. I can never see a role-model in any BIG-SHOT.


Arth kaa
Natmastak charansparsh

Divya said...

A friend of mine sings this for his beloved..

" Meraa naam hain mohabbat, meri aarzoo yehi hain
Tere naam pe jhuke sar, yehi meri bandagi hain
Tujhe is qadar main chaahoo, ke tu khud ko bhul jaaye "

I wonder if anyone can genuinely love someone in this fashion.

Can a woman be this lucky?

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

There is one woman who is this lucky and even more important there is one guy who is so blessed to sing it for her.


Arth kaa
NAtmastak charansparsh

Divya said...

ha ha ha Arth..You are damn witty.

ethereal_infinia said...

Dearest ZEAL:

That particular song starts thus -

Tujhe pyaar karte karte, meri umr beet jaaye
Teraa naam har zabaan par, mere saath-saath aaye.


Arth kaa
Natmastak charansparsh

हर्षिता said...

संवेदनशील पोस्ट है एवं आपके विचारों से पूर्णतया सहमत हूं। मेरे ब्लाक पर आने का आपको बहुत धन्यवाद।

Gourav Agrawal said...

@That is the reason we expect more from the sensitive lot to be equally generous and impartial towards both the gender.

संवेदन हीनता संस्कारों की कमी से ही तो जन्म लेती है

Gourav Agrawal said...

@ Instead of enhancing her outer beauty by giving a diamond necklace, it will be admirable to enrich her inner beauty by encouraging her to be more confident and independent.

@ If a naive woman staying back at home can give culture [sanskaar] to children, then why do you fear that an enlightened and aware woman cannot do so?

दिव्या जी

अभी मैं जब भी घर और बच्चों की बात कर रहा हूँ आपको गहनों से लदी या अनपढ़ स्त्री क्यों नजर आ रही है ??
क्या अगर कोई डोक्टर ( स्त्री या पुरुष ) अपने घर के फर्स्ट फ्लोर पर क्लिनिक खोलने से या कोई सी ऐ ( स्त्री या पुरुष ) ऑफिस को घर पर होने मात्र से
आपको कम प्रतिष्ठा वाला लगता है ?? या इससे उसकी प्रतिभा में कोई कमी आ जाती है ???
मैं घर के पास रहने को इसलिए भी कह रहा हूँ ताकि दूर आने जाने वाली तकलीफ न हो ( पुरुष जाएँ धूप में, इस आधार पर की वो स्त्री से ज्यादा सक्षम है शारीरिक रूप से )
और बच्चों को भी ममता की छाँव आसानी उपलब्ध हो जाये
अब ऐसा भी नहीं की ये परिवार संडे को घूमने नहीं जाता हो ??
या हर त्यौहार पर सब लोग न मिलते जुलते न हों ??

Gourav Agrawal said...

दिव्या जी

मेरी टिप्पणियों को स्त्री की नज़र से न देख कर मानवीय दृष्टि से देखें आपको अपने आप उत्तर मिलने लगेंगे
मैं सबको साथ लेकर चलता हूँ पुरुष, स्त्री, बच्चे, बुजुर्ग कहीं कोई छूट न जाये. यही मानवीय दृष्टिकोण है

Divya said...

Harshita ji, Dhanyawaad

Divya said...

Gaurav ji,

mera drishtikon bhi maanveey hai. Bas itni hi to gujarish hai. Jyada nahi.

Otherwise what you said, is already happening, just a little more is required.

Thoda hai, thode ki zaroorat hai..

Gourav Agrawal said...

तो अब नयी पोस्ट ???

Gourav Agrawal said...

:)

Divya said...

Yes Gaurav..It's on its way. Just keep the fingers crossed.

Gourav Agrawal said...

:)

Gourav Agrawal said...

read my new post :)

डा० अमर कुमार said...


Keeping the fingers crossed...
Are you raising some another issue.. or ?

Or should I call an orthopedician to unlock my fingers..
:)

Divya said...

Dr Amar.....The new post is already a day old now.

Unlock your fingers and rehabilitate them by typing something.

Lemme see what's your say on this subject/analysis?

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